


Breaking Paraskevidekatriaphobia

by mrsgunsage



Category: South Park
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 21:00:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13644336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsgunsage/pseuds/mrsgunsage
Summary: Tweek is trying to correct the biggest mistake he's ever made... and he'll have to actually go out on Friday the 13th to do it.





	Breaking Paraskevidekatriaphobia

**Author's Note:**

> My husband bought me The Fractured but Whole for Christmas, and I have become absolutely useless Creek trash between that and the episode where Craig is calling Tweek “Honey” and “Babe” even though nobody else is around to hear it. I don’t think they’re pretending anymore, y’all.
> 
> I have a weakness for song fics. I love any excuse to write a song fic, it is seriously one of my guiltiest pleasures. 
> 
> I’m a long time South Park fan (seriously, been watching since season 1 first aired) but had never written fics in the fandom. So let’s see how this goes.
> 
> Back To December is property of Taylor Swift. There is a beautifully done male version of the song by David Anderson on YouTube that was sort of the inspiration for this story, which you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA3hIhbPQuY
> 
> I changed a few lyrics here and there just to make it flow better for the story, but I own no rights and make no money from this. Please don’t sue me for copyright infringement if you’re a fic reader, Taylor!
> 
> Paraskevidekatriaphobia = fear of Friday the 13th
> 
> ********************************************************************************************

Friday the 13th is never a day that Tweek wants to be out and about on. His anxiety usually sees him buried under his comforter until the clock strikes midnight on the 14th of whatever month it is. But not today. Today, Tweek is on a mission and the thought of failing is worse than the thought of being in public on a day just rife with bad luck.

Tweek’s not much of a praying type, but tonight he’s praying to every holy figure he can think of. 105 days ago, Tweek made the worst mistake of his life. Three months and fifteen days. Two thousand five hundred and twenty hours… and he’s hurt for every single second of the one hundred fifty one thousand two hundred minutes since he made that stupid mistake. Sometimes it’s just a nagging ache, but sometimes there’s a sharp stabbing where his heart used to beat comfortably and he can barely breathe through it.

He broke up with Craig. He let his stupid anxiety get the better of him, and told the love of his life to leave. It only took him two days to regret it, but his stupid fears kept him from taking it back. Craig deserved better than a twitchy mess of a kid who was probably going to be stuck in South Park, Colorado for his entire meaningless life. Craig had dreams beyond staying in a slowly dying hick-town so his boyfriend could run a slowly dying coffee shop. Tweek didn’t think he could handle doing more than an Associates in Business at Park County Community College, and Craig was already getting interest from places like Cal Tech and UC Berkely for their astrophysics programs. How could Tweek keep a place in Craig’s life at the risk of holding him back… how did Tweek even deserve that place in Craig’s life in the first place?

And yes, he knew. He knew as sure as the sun rose in the east and set in the west every day that Craig loved him. It was never a question of loving each other enough in Tweek’s mind; it was a question of could he love Craig enough to let him go so the other boy wouldn’t be dragged down by Tweek’s issues.

Now finally, he was trying to correct his mistake. He was making a big, public gesture; and if he went down in flames he’d accept it as his due for rejecting real love when he had it handed to him… but if he didn’t, if Craig could somehow forgive him, he’d never let go again.

So here he was, backstage at the annual talent show, getting ready to walk out there and put his broken heart in front of the entirety of Park County High School, a fair amount of the middle school, and quite a few parents there to cheer on their offspring… his own and Craig’s included. 

He’d nearly had a panic attack and backed out when he saw the distinct red hair and bulky height of Thomas Tucker sitting next to his own father; the older man hadn’t had a single thing to say to him since he broke up with Craig other than, “The usual please” when he stopped in for his pre-work coffee every morning. He knew his mom and Laura were still friendly, but after the first couple of weeks she’d stopped prodding at him to talk to Laura, or Tricia… or Craig. He missed the casual, sarcastic warmth of the Tucker family almost as much as he missed Craig.

Token came up to him and broke him from his thoughts with a whisper, “There’s only one more in front of you, Tweek. You need to head back towards the piano so they can push the flat forward for you.”

He huffed out a shaky breath and whispered back, “Thanks, Token.” before heading around the back of the stage where the school’s baby grand sat on a slightly raised platform on casters. The wheeled flat made it easy for the theater and the choir to share the instrument without throwing it out of tune all the time, and it would enable the crew to push the piano forward on the stage for Tweek to play.

It seemed like no time at all before the stage hands were whispering to him to hold on and pushing him onto the darkened stage. Once the flat stopped moving, Tweek smoothed his sheet music onto the piano’s stand and waited for the single spotlight to hit him. The blue gel they’d placed on it gave Tweek enough light to see his music by, but presented him as a melancholy figure alone and surrounded by the dark. It startled him for a second because he’d practiced with just a regular spot, but this seemed appros pos so he was going to roll with it. 

He pulled in a quick breath and flexed his trembling fingers before easing into the opening chords of the song he’d picked. He’d actually had to transpose it to fit his lower tenor range which made it sound even more mournful than the original female mezzo soprano range; he hadn’t written the song, but he’d made it his own as much as possible before he’d considered it a worthy apology to give to Craig.

 _I'm so glad you made time to see me_  
_How's life, tell me how's your family?_  
_I haven’t seen them in a while_  
_You've been good, busier then ever_  
_We small talk, work and the weather_  
_Your guard is up and I know why_  
_Because the last time you saw me_  
_Is still burned in the back of your mind_  
_You gave me roses and I left them there to die,_  


He’d nearly hyperventilated earlier this week when he’d finally worked up the courage to approach Craig. To a casual observer, Craig was unaffected by Tweek’s presence and the former lovers were just having a brief, civil conversation. Tweek wasn’t a casual observer when it came to Craig Tucker, however. Craig was still hurt. That pain radiated clearly in his blue eyes for the few people who knew him well enough to see past his stoic facade.

He hated seeing Craig sad, but he needed to ensure the other boy would attend the talent show. Tweek hadn’t even fibbed when Craig wanted a reason why he should be there; he really was in the number from the upcoming musical the theater department was performing to drum up interest for the show before opening night.  
After agreeing to come, Craig had turned on his heel and left before Tweek could get another word out. He’d held it together fairly well until the taller boy vanished around the corner, then he’d sunk to the floor slowly pulling his knees to his chest as he went. His head dropped onto his knees and he spent several minutes taking deep, unsteady breaths as he tried his hardest to fight off the tears threatening to drip from the corners of his eyes.

 _So this is me swallowing my pride_  
_Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night_  
_And I go back to December all the time._  
_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_  
_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine_  
_I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right_  
_I go back to December all the time…_  


He looked up from the keyboard for a moment, and saw Craig. He didn’t have time to decipher the expression on the other boys’ face but he was glad that no matter how it ended, Craig would know how he felt.

 _These days, I haven't been sleeping_  
_Staying up playing back myself leaving_  
_When your birthday passed and I didn't call_  
_And I think of that summer, all the beautiful times_  
_I watched you laughing from the passenger side_  
_And realized I loved you in the fall_  
_And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind_  
_You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye._  


That summer. The summer after 8th grade. That was the summer Tweek expected their pretend relationship to fall apart so that Craig would be single for the start of high school, but when he’d tried to nonchalantly give the older boy an out things had flipped on him. Craig thought Tweek wanted to break up, and the blond had been quick to reassure him otherwise. When absolutely nothing changed in their relationship over the course of 9th grade except for the kissing wasn’t just in public anymore, Tweek realized that Craig had considered it real all along… and he was so happy.

But then the guidance counselors started really hounding on them at the end of 10th grade to start thinking about AP classes and admissions essays and early applications… and it was all far too much pressure for Tweek! That’s when he realized what a huge chain he was tying Craig down with. He’d tried so hard to do better. The first semester of 11th grade he did everything the counselors told him he’d need to do to get into a really good school. He took the harder classes. He starting giving himself panic attacks over studying for the ACT’s and SAT’s, he requested information packets from any school he could find that had an astrophysics program. Every school had a business program after all, and it didn’t really matter where he went to school. He just wanted to be ready to apply to whatever school Craig decided on.  
But it all came with a price. His grades started dropping; the harder courses came with more homework and his parents weren’t willing to give him extra time off to do it, or to find a study group to join. The dropping grades started a spiral of anxiety, panic, and self-hatred that held Tweek firmly in its’ grasp by the time school was set to break for the winter Holidays.

He couldn’t cope. He accepted he didn’t have what to took to go to a good school. He wasn’t meant for big things; he was never going to escape the confines of Park County. He changed his classes back to a more standard curriculum, feeling like the biggest piece of trash loser in the entire school the whole while. The only bright spot about dropping the AP classes was freeing up room on his schedule to rejoin the choir, but even that wasn’t enough to cheer him up from the realization he would have to give Craig the freedom to actually go out and chase his dreams without a spazzy, loser boyfriend tying him to South Park.

 _So this is me swallowing my pride_  
_Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night_  
_And I go back to December all the time_  
_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_  
_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine_  
_I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind_  
_Oh, I go back to December all the time_  


_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right_  
_And how you held me in your arms that September night_  
_The first time you ever saw me cry_  
_Maybe this is wishful thinking_  
_Probably mindless dreaming_  
_But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right_  


God, he missed Craig so much! Not because he was the hottest guy in school, but because he was warmth and safety and every good thing in Tweek’s life. Nobody else ever took the time to actually listen to his anxiety-fueled ramblings, help him sort them out, and put his worries to rest like Craig. Nobody else made time for him at three in the morning when he was terrified and needed to be reassured. Nobody else loved him like the dark haired boy did.

The night Craig told him, “I love you” for the first time he’d sobbed like a baby; but he wasn’t embarrassed because he was pretty sure the taller boy had a few tears in his eyes as well. They were sitting out in the meadow behind Stark’s Pond to watch the stars, and Craig just blurted it out. The rest of the evening saw Tweek wrapped securely in strong arms while they whispered back and forth to each other. It started out as honestly felt love confessions and sweet nothings, but after Tweek stopped crying it became a game to see who could say the most ridiculously sappy and cheesy things to the other without giggling. It was the best night of Tweek’s life, and he hoped he’d get the chance to have more nights like that with Craig.

 _I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't._  
_So if the chain is on your door, I understand._  


His voice wobbled slightly and a single tear finally escaped his burning eyes to run down the side of his face. He knew this was a long shot, last ditch, Hail Mary desperation move, and he didn’t care. He would be walking out of this auditorium tonight with either his entire heart, or none of it… and which it was depended entirely on Craig.

 _But this is me swallowing my pride_  
_Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night_  
_And I go back to December_  
_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_  
_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine_  
_I'd go back to December turn around and make it all right_  
_I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind_  
_I go back to December all the time all the time._  


The final chord faded into silence and Tweek wiped his eyes as discreetly as he could before gathering his sheet music so he could leave the stage. He’d just stood up from the bench when he saw Craig coming up the steps on the side of the stage and crossing towards him with determined strides. When the dark haired boy reached him, Tweek gave a weak, “Hey, C-craig.”

The microphone was still live and his voice wobbled through the auditorium which was strangely silent despite being filled to near capacity. Tweek had the soul-crushing thought that he was about to get rejected in front of everybody in attendance and the whole fucking thing would be broadcast over the sound system, but Craig reached out and flipped the mic off without taking his eyes off of the trembling blond in front of him.

His voice was deep and slightly hoarse, “Did you mean it?”

“Every word.” He forced himself to meet Craig’s eyes, but the anger he was halfway expecting wasn’t there. Instead he saw tears starting to build, and the smile that didn’t look like much to a casual observer. But it was noted before, Tweek wasn’t a casual observer when it came to Craig. The dark haired boy had a smile that shone brightly in his eyes before barely ghosting across his lips. Like with most other expressions you had to know him really well to see it on his face

Tweek was caught up in warm arms and pulled tightly against a firm chest; he dropped his music, the pages scattering around them as he wrapped his own arms securely around the taller boy’s shoulders. Craig tucked his face against Tweek’s throat, and he could feel wetness on his skin as tears finally escaped Craig’s eyes. “God, Tweek… I missed you so much, baby.”

Tweek’s hands ran up under the ever present blue chullo and into Craig’s thick black hair, his face scrunched up in a desperate bid to not break down sobbing on stage, “I missed you, too! I was so s-stupid; I’m sorry!”

Craig tightened his grip around the blond’s waist, lifting Tweek up until they were looking directly into each others’ eyes, “We are going to have a very long, very serious conversation this evening when this thing is over, but for now I just want to get off this stage.”

Tweek let his hands slide down until he was cupping Craig’s face, “I really do have to p-perform with the drama department at the end of this, but after that we can go to IHOP and find a quiet b-booth and talk as much as you want, OK?”

Craig nodded and let Tweek back down onto his own feet before grabbing the blond’s hand and leading him towards the backstage area. Once they were away from the eyes of the audience, Craig picked him up again and pulled him into a desperate kiss that seemed to last forever and yet not long enough.

When they broke for air, Craig sighed, “It’s been too long since that happened.”

Tweek nodded agreement and leaned forward to press one more quick kiss against Craig’s chapped lips, “Way too long; unfortunately, I do have to go get changed though…”

Craig nodded and reluctantly removed his arms from around Tweek's waist, “Kick it in the ass, babe. I’ll be waiting when you come offstage.”

Tweek turned just before he went into the dressing room and saw Craig’s eyes still trained on him. He was the luckiest asshole in the world, because Craig very easily could have chosen not to forgive him. He could have walked out of here tonight destroyed instead of hopeful, and as much as he would have wanted to he wouldn’t have been able to blame Friday the 13th for it because the damage was done well beforehand. He smiled to himself as he started pulling on his costume for the musical number and realized that from now on, he’d have to consider Friday the 13th as his unofficial lucky day.


End file.
